Ready for a journey through time?
...
So, you’ve decided to take a trip into the past. What is your main reason for pursuing time travel?
I’m going to open a high interest savings account.
Gonna’ do some stuff to Hitler. Not gonna’ say what kind of stuff. Just…some stuff.
I want to try the original Coca Cola (if you know what I mean) and maybe some of that cake Marie Antoinette was so keen on.
I want to present Marie Curie with a lead vest. You know, for safety.
I have a list of people to pick up for my dinner party (paradoxes be damned): Eleanor Roosevelt, Sojourner Truth, Susan B. Anthony, Lai Choi San, Bessie Coleman, Miriam Makeba…
Which of these very real time travel-related risks concerns you the most?
The limited understanding of medicine and hygiene (the smells… the leeches).
The unsafe food and drink (sewage-laced water and Cholera-flavored everything).
Not being allowed to vote or wear trousers without getting weird looks.
Given my plans, I’m a little concerned about the conditions of the prisons.
Getting pulled into one of the wars. There's been at least, like seven at this point.
What are you going to bring on your time travel trip, besides a light jacket for layering?
Protein bars and a thermos of water. Maybe some Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
A bunch of whatever they use for money in that time and place.
A map of the area.
All the soap and hand-sanitizer I can carry. Also my allergy medicine.
Mace.
You might need to get a job during your time travel journey, what’s it going to be?
An assistant or secretary of some kind. Obviously this would only be cover for my real work with the resistance.
I would pass myself off as a psychic, of course. Or a wizard.
A baker or chef. Food is timeless, right?
A carpenter, welder, or some other manual job. Something useful but that won’t draw attention.
A doctor or nurse. My knowledge of germ theory puts me miles ahead of everyone else.
If you were going to get photographed (or have your portrait painted) while holding something weird/modern to mess with people in the future/present, what would it be?
A fitness tracker watch.
An MP3 player and earbuds.
A Rosie the Riveter T-shirt.
A can of La Croix
A realistic rubber mask depicting the face of a current (2015 or later) celebrity.
It’s the night before your trip. What time travel movie are you going to watch to relax?
Hot Tub Time Machine or Idiocracy
Arrival or Run Lola Run
Looper or Edge of Tomorrow
Time bandits or Army of Darkness
12 Monkeys or Extracted
And finally, if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
An ancient redwood or oak
A fruit tree
The exotic and poisonous Manchineel tree!
Any tree that's good for climbing
An artificial tree