A milestone birthday is coming up for one of your girlfriends. You decide to:
A girlfriend tells you that a mutual friend is going through a really tough time, they haven’t brought it up to you yet, but you want to do something. You decide to:
A friend texts you, “Let’s go to dinner” What’s your response?
One aspect of friendship you applaud yourself for is
In the group chat, you’re the friend who
Your philosophy on friendship is
You’ve had to end a friendship because
One hard lesson you had to learn about friendship was
Your friend group would describe you as the following:
Think about one of the friend groups you belong to. Now answer the following question, “I’m usually the one to”
If you had to choose a song to describe your feelings about your friends, you’d be dancing to which lyric?
Something in your friend group that you might find hard to talk about is
In your friend group, you feel appreciated in a conversational setting when
Which would you choose if your role in your friend group was a season (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall)?
Your sister circle needs a refresh, something to rekindle the love amongst the group members. What are you suggesting for the activity?
When your sister circle is at its best, you feel
Your Results Are Loading Sis, Drop Your Email to Move On
The Leader
In chapter 5 of Sisterhood Heals, Dr. Joy writes, “In my experience working with Black women in groups, sisters tend to fall into one of four roles: The Leader, The Wallflower, The Firecracker, and The Peacemaker. These roles are not at all static or absolute. We actually may find ourselves moving in and out of different roles depending on the setting or situation, but they do give us some information about how we show up in communal spaces.”
According to your results, in your friendships, you are The Leader.
About You:
THE LEADER is the one who offers organization to the group. You are typically the one making sure the group gets together regularly, and you’re probably the one who organized the last get-together. You are also the one who often feels the most responsible for the emotional wellness of the group. It’s not uncommon for you to be the one checking in with others about how they’re feeling and making sure that the group stays tight-knit. In many cases, you are “the strong friend.” While your attention to detail and organizational skills keep you very involved with the group, it’s also very easy for you to be somewhat invisible because you spend a lot of time tending to others because you are seen to be more capable. Unfortunately, it isn’t always apparent that you need to be checked on as well.
Why Your Friends Love You:
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You bring friends together. You’re always encouraging friendship.
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You’re the glue holding everyone together.
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You’re so thoughtful, always remembering to celebrate the friends around you.
How You Can Be A Better Friend:
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Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You don’t need to always be “strong.”
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Open up, and don’t forget to talk about yourself and your problems. Keep your friends in the loop so they can show up.
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Allow the group to care for and nurture you. Allow them to pour into you as you’ve poured into them.
As a Leader, you’re in the company of iconic sistas like Joan Clayton (Girlfriends), Khadijah James (Living Single), and Moesha Mitchell (Moesha)!
While paying attention to the roles we play in a group can often provide insight into our strengths and where we naturally shine, it can also shed light on the areas that may be difficult for us and require some work. Learn more about “The Leader” and the three other friendship roles by purchasing your copy of Sisterhood Heals.
The Wallflower
In chapter 5 of Sisterhood Heals, Dr. Joy writes, “In my experience working with Black women in groups, sisters tend to fall into one of four roles: The Leader, The Wallflower, The Firecracker, and The Peacemaker. These roles are not at all static or absolute. We actually may find ourselves moving in and out of different roles depending on the setting or situation, but they do give us some information about how we show up in communal spaces.”
According to your results, in your friendships, you are The Wallflower.
About You:
THE WALLFLOWER is the sister within the group who generally sits quietly and listens as others talk. However, when you do speak, it’s super impactful. You are often paying more attention to what’s not being said than what is. You’re very loyal to the group and won’t typically miss any gatherings, but it’s also unlikely that you’ll be planning any of them. If there is a conflict in the group, you’d prefer to be left out of it. When we think about the phrase still waters run deep, we’d be thinking of you.
Why Your Friends Love You:
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You know when something is bothering someone, even if they haven’t said anything about it.
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You show up for your friends for both scheduled and unscheduled life events.
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You allow other people the space and time to say what they need in a conversation.
How You Can Be A Better Friend:
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Don’t just push conflict under the rug. Share your feelings with your friends when you have a conflicting point of view.
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Ask your friends to show up for you as you do for them. Advocate for reciprocity.
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Use your voice to influence the habits/choices of the friend group. Your ideas matter too.
As a Wallflower, you’re in the company of loving sistas like Savannah Jackson (Waiting to Exhale), Tisean “T.T.” Williams (Set it Off), and Niecy Jackson (Moesha)!
While paying attention to the roles we play in a group can often provide insight into our strengths and where we naturally shine, it can also shed light on the areas that may be difficult for us and require some work. Learn more about “The Wallflower” and the three other friendship roles by purchasing your copy of Sisterhood Heals.
The Firecracker
In chapter 5 of Sisterhood Heals, Dr. Joy writes, “In my experience working with Black women in groups, sisters tend to fall into one of four roles: The Leader, The Wallflower, The Firecracker, and The Peacemaker. These roles are not at all static or absolute. We actually may find ourselves moving in and out of different roles depending on the setting or situation, but they do give us some information about how we show up in communal spaces.”
According to your results, in your friendships, you are The Firecracker.
About You:
THE FIRECRACKER is the sister who will say the thing that needs to be said, but not always gently. You, along with the leader of your group, tend to take up most of the space in the group. You’re likely the life of the party, but if the party goes off the rails, you’re also probably the one involved in that too. The group typically values your insights because you say the things that others won’t, and you are the one to call when you need someone to hype you up, need courage to do the hard thing or ride shotgun when a friend needs to defend themselves.
Why Your Friends Love You:
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You’re honest with your friends and have a trusted word.
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Nobody gives a better pep talk than you. You make your friends feel as unique and special as you see them.
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You’re going to stand up for friends no matter the circumstances or obstacles.
How You Can Be A Better Friend:
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Allow space for your friends to shine their light in the group. Use your light to brighten theirs.
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Use words and language that invites other people to be open and vulnerable. Don’t create an unsafe environment.
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Tell your friends when your feelings are hurt or when you’re feeling down. Be vulnerable.
As a Firecracker, you’re in the company of hilarious sistas like Maya Wilkes (Girlfriends), Molly Carter (Insecure), and Maxine Shaw (Living Single)!
While paying attention to the roles we play in a group can often provide insight into our
strengths and where we naturally shine, it can also shed light on the areas that may be difficult for us and require some work. Learn more about “The Firecracker” and the three other friendship roles by purchasing your copy of Sisterhood Heals.
The Peacemaker
In chapter 5 of Sisterhood Heals, Dr. Joy writes, “In my experience working with Black women in groups, sisters tend to fall into one of four roles: The Leader, The Wallflower, The Firecracker, and The Peacemaker. These roles are not at all static or absolute. We actually may find ourselves moving in and out of different roles depending on the setting or situation, but they do give us some information about how we show up in communal spaces.”
According to your results, in your friendships, you are The Peacemaker.
About You:
THE PEACEMAKER is the sister who will send the text message that says, “We need to talk.” If two other sisters in the group have a conflict, you’ll likely have individual calls with both of them and then encourage them to hash out their issues. You are also likely to struggle with boundary-setting in the group and can easily fall into a pattern of people-pleasing. You tend to be very reliable, and the one folks want to call when they need someone to affirm them after a tough day.
Why Your Friends Love You:
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You address conflict head-on.
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You make your friends feel loved and supported.
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You make 1:1 time for friends outside of the group.
How You Can Be A Better Friend:
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Let your friends know when things don’t work for you. They’ll understand if you say “no.”
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You don’t need to “fix” all the problems in the group. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself.
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Stop overextending yourself for the sake of the group. You want to give from your overflow.
As a Peacemaker, you’re in the company of grounding sistas like Synclaire James (Living Single), Lynn Searcy (Girlfriends), and Gloria Matthews (Waiting to Exhale)!
While paying attention to the roles we play in a group can often provide insight into our strengths and where we naturally shine, it can also shed light on the areas that may be difficult for us and require some work. Learn more about “The Peacemaker” and the three other friendship roles by purchasing your copy of Sisterhood Heals.
