Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. It includes but is not limited to:

Psychological and emotional abuse: Name calling, constant criticism, threats, being put down in front of others, being isolated from friends and family

Physical abuse: Hitting, slapping, choking, punching, threats with weapons and death

Sexual Abuse: Rape, sexual assault, forced to imitate pornography, forced to have unprotected sex, penetration with objects, forced to have sex with others and NCII- Non-consensual Dissemination of Intimate Images

Financial Abuse: Money being withheld, being forced to borrow money, getting a poor credit rating, forced to make benefit claims, having to account for money spent, not being allowed to control own finances

Coercive control: Isolation, mind games, monitoring phone calls, controlling what they eat, how they dress, who they see and text, where they go, how they cook, changing the rules of control to confuse the victim.

Domestic abuse is recognised as a serious crime in Scotland. As of April 2019, for the first time, the law recognises coercive control as a crime. This means that a person who engages in a pattern of abusive behaviour towards a partner or ex-partner can be prosecuted and punished by the law.

A key aspect is that it will cover a range of behaviours such as psychological and emotional abuse. Previously, the criminal law focused on physical violence; however, the changes now make coercive control a criminal offence.

Men do experience domestic abuse however statistically (and the statistics are very static) in Scotland 4 out Of 5 victims of domestic abuse are female. In 2018-2019 83% of domestic abuse reports to Police Scotland were of men as the perpetrators and women as the victim.

Unfortunately, children and young people also experience domestic abuse. Around 1 in 5 children (NSPCC) are affected by domestic abuse. Children and young people can overhear the abuse, witness it and can be forced to participate. Many women will go to extreme lengths to protect their children from witnessing the abuse that they are experiencing. Children are very aware of what is happening in their own home. Police Scotland report recorded that in 2018-2019 88% of domestic abuse incidents occurred in the home.

For a lot of people, it is easier to believe that the abuser is mentally ill than it is to accept that they know exactly what they’re doing when they assault, rape or torture their partner. It is important to understand that most people who abuse their partners are ONLY violent to them, never to anyone else. When you hear about domestic abuse stories in the news, typically friends, neighbours and colleagues state that the abuser was a lovely, kind and a really active person in the community. Most people who abuse are able to function normally in society, in the workplace, in all their contacts with people.

Technology including mobile phones, tablets, smart home and web connected devices, enable abusers to record victims and monitor their whereabouts and even change their physical environment from remote devices. Abusers can now very easily keep a track of their partner or ex-partner through mobile phones, navigation devices, apps and social media. Technology also allows for online harassment, stalking and NCII- Non-consensual Dissemination of Intimate Images (previously referred to as ‘revenge porn’)

Some people only abuse their partners when they have been drinking or taking drugs, but some only do it when they are sober and some do it drunk or sober. Drink can provide an easy excuse, but it is more of a trigger than a root cause of violence. The main cause of domestic abuse is the misuse of power within a relationship. Alcohol and drugs are often blamed as are stress and poverty. They may be triggers but they are not the root cause of the abuse.

"Violence against women is a manifestation of historically unequal power relations between men and women...and that violence against women is one of the crucial social mechanisms by which women are forced into a subordinate position to men"
(UN Declaration on eliminating Violence Against Women passed by the United Nations General Assembly)

The highest rate of domestic abuse victims reported in 2018-19 was 26-30 year old Women (Scottish Govt-Police Scotland 2018-19) Women as young as 14 are experiencing domestic abuse in their relationships.
Behaviours to look out for in early stages of relationships are:

· Jealousy

· Wanting to know where you are and who you are with

· Constantly wanting to be together and isolating you from your friends and family

· Mind games

· Controlling your decisions, what you wear and who you see

· Making you feel guilty

Women stay with abusive partners for many reasons. They may not know they are entitled to permanent re-housing if they leave home because of abuse and think they would be homeless. They may not know they are entitled to certain benefits for themselves and their children and think they would be left in poverty. They may fear they would lose their children if they left their partners. They may not know Women’s Aid organisations can provide safe, secret refuge and fear that they would be found wherever they tried to go. They may feel the abuse is their fault and they do not deserve a life free from violence.

Each of these reasons is valid. Leaving an abusive partner is not easy and leaving abuse is very much a process than a one-off event. Many will leave and go back as it takes on average 7 attempts for a woman to leave the abuse for good. Leaving is the most dangerous time for a woman as the abuser begins to lose control therefore will take drastic measures to harm and abuse her.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, you are not alone and we believe you. Contact Glasgow Women's Aid for confidential ongoing support and refuge:
Helpline 10am-4pm: 0141 553 2022
Email support: officecover@glasgowwomensaid.org.uk
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (24hrs): 0800 027 1234