The Bright Minds Quiz 🤯💃🏼🔥

You have never gone out on a limb much in life, because it just hasn’t been worth the risk. As an underachiever you have always had plenty reserve “just in case”, and always a reason to tell yourself “well, I could have done more after all, so no wonder this didn’t come out GREAT”. This strategy has made you feel safe in an environment that has felt unpredictable and volatile.

And yet, there has always been your rebel side, seeing beyond the status quo. Seeing what would be possible “if only”. Sensing what you are capable of beyond your (quite deeply entrenched) fears of the world and its reactions. Believing in your calling.

And honestly, it’s been showing up in the stupidest moments sometimes, not letting you do stuff just “because that’s how it’s done”. Your rebel quite likes to speak up with its insane moral compass, its belief in something bigger, and its stubborn search for what matters. So, you have been torn – keeping yourself small enough to hide, at the same time forging your own path here and there as much as possible. Overall you have been an absolute expert at working against yourself and keeping yourself small. And – it has not made you happy, but ironically somewhat unpredictable and volatile. Like the reactions you try to avoid.

Your next steps: Well, I bet you know that there is no way around leaning out and actually follow your inner rebel. HOWEVER!!! I’m sure you have tried and … got burnt. You have hard data that it is unsafe and won’t work.

So let’s do it differently this time around:

1. Try to lean out again, but two things here:
   a) think of the smallest possible step that comes to mind that tickles your nerves, yet doesn’t freak you out so it takes a long time to recover. Can you tell one vulnerable thing to one friend? Can you publish something anonymously? Can you start by sending a heartfelt email to someone who you know is kind?
   
   b) IGNORE the voices telling you that this is not enough, will never lead to anything and definitely not for the change you wish for the world. Stop treating your rebel side as if it was the wise one. It has its own shortcomings and isn’t always right.
   
   Important note: Don’t let yourself be held back by “but I don’t have the education” or “my grammar isn’t on point”. These are stories a) society likes to feed us as “essential to do xyz” b) If you really wanted to independent of society - if you don’t really practice, how would your grammar (or whatever) get better?
   
   
2. Before you start, do this small mental exercise to be upfront with your fears instead of having them linger as something unpredictable lurking in the shadows:
   
   Imagine taking that step, and what you fear the most actually came to happen. (NOT the worst possible outcome if you went all out: Just referring to this small step).
   
   What would it be and feel like? Don’t go too deep! Just feel into it and where it sits in your body. (E.g. a knot in your stomach, or your shoulders roll in, or you ball your hands). Then, take a deep, deep breath and as you breathe out, counter the movement that is associated with your fear. (e.g. soften your abs, roll your shoulders back, spread your hands). Do this a few times and notice any shifts when you think about this small step.
   
   
3. After you have done the thing, celebrate yourself a little and consciously store away the feeling for the next round: So when you choose to take another step, take the new literal proof you have that you can do the hard stuff.
   
   Yes, even if it “fails”: You have gone and taken a step and you can store the courage, the self-trust and the determination, and the result being very most likely not as bad as you thought it might.
   
   

Before we part, here is what you can make possible for yourself with ongoing support: Imagine the practice above with someone helping you to find the perfect step width, without the rebel and the underachiever contradicting each other.

Someone who helps you to calm your nervous system when you DO go and take bold action. Bolder than would be possible on your own, and with way more powerful practices to get yourself regulated, because they’re personalised.

Lastly, how to find the gold in what happened and re-create the next step, bringing you closer to finally have calling that doesn’t just exist in theory but actually changes people’s lives.

A really good start for you could be the change work intensive. And/or reach out for a free 30min conversation to find the perfect fit for what’s next. Don’t let that calling go to waste!

p.s. read about all the other types and the “I’m all of them but none really” HERE

You have never needed to go out on the fringes of what is possible, because you tended to just get what you wanted. A combination of wit, charm, looks and confidence has helped you with your career, friendships and all sorts of fun stuff.

It’s been superficial though, because “stuff being easy” has had a price tag attached: Even though your life looks like a 10/10 on the outside, it has felt like an 8/10 max. Because you never tried for a 10/10, you never got a 10/10 – probably without you fully realising it. But here’s the thing: You can only reach a 10/10 when you risk a 0/10 failure (devastation and heartbreak, yup), too - which hasn’t been necessary, nor seemed desirable.

So all you get is random hits when fortune smiles upon you - but it’s been kinda fleeting and you don’t know how to recreate it. That doesn’t keep you from trying, so you go round in circles nonetheless… like go to that party again, or on another surf trip, another one night stand with someone stunningly beautiful – whatever it may be for you. Only to end up (at least) mildly disappointed when it didn’t work out.

It’s that depth of a 10/10 you want so badly. Like an insistent craving you have had for a while now. You want more than the commodities capitalism throws your way. More than what you can have without trying hard. And YET, because you barely practiced “trying hard”, risking a 0/10 experience seems HUGE.

Your next steps: Well. You may have an idea that there’s no way around failing, looking stupid and going for something uncomfortably uncertain to get what you want. But contrary to what you are used to in the rest of your life: This is tender business. You need to go slow and accept that you may not do well when you take real risks.

1. So let’s start with something that feels properly scary, BUT:
   
   a) think of the smallest possible wistful wan that comes to mind. Yes, asking for it should tickle your nerves for real, but freaking you out beyond recognition won’t work. Can you risk to say something that potentially takes away a fun opportunity? But if it worked, it would be a lot more fun? Can you think of something vulnerable you haven’t said to someone who means a lot to you?
   
   b) IGNORE the voices telling you that this is “pointless because it doesn’t ensure the result”. We WANT a result that isn’t guaranteed! Really listen in for actual desire. Something you wouldn’t normally do. Important note: You might need to try a few times because you may not have easy access to your real, deeper desires. Likely, you will automatically reach for what you usually do already. If you get “mild disappointment” after, try again.
   
   
2. Before you start, do this small mental exercise to be upfront with your fears instead of having them linger as something unpredictable lurking in the shadows:
   
   Imagine taking that step, and what you fear the most actually came to happen. (NOT the worst possible outcome if you went all out: Just referring to this small step).
   
   What would it be and feel like? Don’t go too deep! Just feel into it and where it sits in your body. (E.g. a knot in your stomach, or your shoulders roll in, or you ball your hands). Then, take a deep, deep breath and as you breathe out, counter the movement that is associated with your fear. (e.g. soften your abs, roll your shoulders back, spread your hands). Do this a few times and notice any shifts when you think about this small step.
   
   
3. After you have done the thing, celebrate yourself a little and store away the feeling for the next round. So when you choose another step, take the new proof you have that you can do hard stuff. Even if it “fails”: You have gone and taken a step and you can store the courage, the self-trust and the determination, and the result being very most likely not as bad as you thought it might.

Before we part, here is what you can make possible for yourself with ongoing support: Imagine the practice above with someone helping you to find the perfect step width, helping you to discern your joy-seeking habits from actual, real desires.

Someone who helps you to calm your nervous system when you DO go and take bold action. Bolder than would be possible on your own, and with way more powerful practices to get yourself regulated, because they’re personalised.

So you discover that you can have that 0/10 failure and feel held. First with someone’s hand on your back, and later/increasingly on your own. To enjoy the 10/10 you have been looking for for so long.

For people like you, I recommend getting 1:1 coaching to get a grip on your own mind. However to find the perfect fit (potentially including the perfect coach for this who isn’t always me), let’s start with a free 30min conversation.

p.s. read about all the other types and the “I’m all of them but none really” HERE

You are highly successful in your career, and your success justifies how you spend your life. You have been rewarded by society that highly appreciates quick, logical thinking, great problem solving and high performance.

So in theory, why would you change a thing with your accolades and money and power, essentially all the desirable things?

Well, something has been missing inside. If you believed in having a soul, you’d say it called for something beyond “reasonable” and “useful”. You have tried though, doing the well-being things from the books like bubble baths and arts classes, even if it’s been kinda hard to see why you should spend time on “nonsense” stuff beyond what, again, seems reasonable and useful.

Here’s the thing: You have essentially exploited those parts of your brain that have served your mission in being a successful, high performing executive (say analytical, rational, logical), but stashed away those that are a bit too unruly and harder to control – yet part of the full human experience. And actually bigger and more insistent in people who are really smart like you.

So no wonder that there’s a deep, innate desire to let that part out, get truly creative and exploratory – not just in that arts class, but as a way of life. Play, sing loudly, lie around, dance, eat whatever you feel like eating. Feel child-like wonder again. And yup… ideally all of those at work.

I’m curious, does your brain go… “Like what???”

I say, if even the thought of going a little nuts at work seems outrageous, it’s high time you try. You might be surprise to discover that everyone benefits in the end, not just you, when you let your whole self loose.

Here’s a small (!) step by step practice to make a dent. Look what happens if you lean into “authentic” over “correct”. Small - because it’s important to only lean in as much as you can cope with.

1. So let’s start with something tiny that feels… out of place at work, but you have felt a nagging/longing to live it out loud more. Something you want to wear, or the way your desk looks like. Something you say to people – what about a simple “I don’t know” instead of immediately putting together some reply? (Or do the complete opposite and go 100% offline for longer than feels comfortable.)
   
   Important: IGNORE the voices telling you that this may risk what you have worked for SO HARD and you can’t possibly do it. Go even smaller if you cannot put them aside, or get creative to find access to something you wouldn’t normally do yet doesn’t freak you out too much.
   
   
2. Before you start, do this small mental exercise to be upfront with your fears instead of having them linger as something unpredictable lurking in the shadows:
   
   Imagine taking that step, and what you fear the most actually came to happen. (NOT the worst possible outcome if you went all out: Just referring to this small step).
   
   What would it be and feel like? Don’t go too deep! Just feel into it and where it sits in your body. (E.g. a knot in your stomach, or your shoulders roll in, or you ball your hands). Then, take a deep, deep breath and as you breathe out, counter the movement that is associated with your fear. (e.g. soften your abs, roll your shoulders back, spread your hands). Do this a few times and notice any shifts when you think about this small step.
   
   
3. After you have done the thing, celebrate yourself a little and store away the feeling for the next round. So when you choose another step, take the new proof you have that you can do hard stuff. Even if it “fails”: You have gone and taken a step and you can store the courage, the self-trust and the determination, and the result being very most likely not as bad as you thought it might.
   
   

Before we part, here is what you can make possible for yourself with ongoing support: Imagine the practice above with someone helping you to find the perfect step width, that will allow you to show up as your whole self more and more. So you have to be less alone and do it all on your own, but also can be seen and loved for who you really are. Yes, at work, too.

Someone who helps you to calm your nervous system when you DO go and take bold action. Bolder than would be possible on your own, and with way more powerful practices to get yourself regulated, because they’re personalised.

So you discover that you don’t have to exploit your own brain and compartmentalise yourself so strictly to deliver the high quality work you love to provide. What if it didn’t have to be an “either this or that”, what if you could be brilliant you with all you’ve got in a way that ended up being a huge win for everyone and everything involved?

Check out the no BS leadership course if you want a self-guided approach and try and familiarize yourself with a holistic, humanity-centred leadership approach, or reach out for a free 30min conversation to find out what the best fit could be.

p.s. read about all the other types and the “I’m all of them but none really” HERE

You can read people like no one else, and it exhausts you like no one else. But that is your secret. What you do instead is to smile, function, and keep going. You brilliantly hold it together after all, what would people do without you?

You don’t think there is a way out with the weight of so many others’ well-being on your shoulders. You do have the capacity to carry them after all – all you need is your peace and quiet often enough to recharge, so you can pick you responsibilities back up, when it all starts anew on the next day. (Moms, I see you!!)

I call that resignation. Here’s how: It may make you feel good, because you are needed. You may do a lot of work to expand your capacity, and especially because you are gifted, it’s huge. People do rely on you a great deal, it’s not just imagined!

However, weirdly, being resigned can make you feel good, too. It’s called empowered resignation: You don’t think you have a choice and this is the defining factor of resignation. No choice = Resignation to how things “just are”.

In truth, even empaths and highly sensitive people can learn to set boundaries and regulate themselves in a way that allows them to thrive, because they stop letting everyone and everything in all the time. However, it often means to say no to real scary things. Number one? The people you love. A lot. And in your head, their rejection is a really big deal. So is their suffering that you might cause when you say no - whether it’s real or not.

I propose a different possibility: You setting healthy, clean and well communicated boundaries leaves everyone better off. It is a process to embrace this possibility though, because I suspect right now it’s pretty black & white in your head and you cannot necessarily yet see how to do the boundary setting well.

Let’s take a first step here:

1. a) Find a person who is hard to say “no” to, but not too hard – so the thought of saying it doesn’t scare you shitless, and practice saying, well “no” to them – but in a way that is new: Don’t go for someone you have said “yes” to for so long and given so much to them that you are about to cut them out completely, or go say no in a really harsh, loud way. Instead choose someone you have reserves with still. And in terms of *what* to say no to, go for unease at max.
   
   Maybe you say “no” to helping out at an event or doing other extras. Or you say “no” to go be someone’s wingman again at a party you don’t want to go to. To someone who talks your ear off on the phone for longer than you want to and/or never lets you speak and share in turn.
   
   b) IGNORE the voices telling you that they will stop loving you, do things like turn on you and push you out of your job or a community you are both in. However, when the voices go really loud, double check if the unease is too big and a different person or a different ask might serve you more.
   
   
2. Before you start, do this small mental exercise to be upfront with your fears instead of having them linger as something unpredictable lurking in the shadows:
   
   Imagine taking that step, and what you fear the most actually came to happen. (NOT the worst possible outcome if you went all out: Just referring to this small step). What would it be and feel like? Don’t go too deep! Just feel into it and where it sits in your body. (E.g. a knot in your stomach, or your shoulders roll in, or you ball your hands).
   
   Then, take a deep, deep breath and as you breathe out, counter the movement that is associated with your fear. (e.g. soften your abs, roll your shoulders back, spread your hands). Do this a few times and notice any shifts when you think about this small step.
   
   
3. After you have done the thing, celebrate yourself a little and store away the feeling for the next round. So when you choose another step, take the new proof you have that you can do hard stuff. Even if it “fails”: You have gone and taken a step and you can store the courage, the self-trust and the determination, and the result being very most likely not as bad as you thought it might.

Before we part, here is what you can make possible for yourself with ongoing support: Imagine the practice above with someone helping you to find the perfect step width, so you can lean into harnessing your own empathy for the good of yourself and everyone else – not either you or them. Really let the possibility in that it led to them feeling more held and better supported – thanks to seeing and practicing completely new ways to deal with feelings, yours and theirs.

Imagine someone who helps you to calm your nervous system when you DO go and take bold action. Bolder than would be possible on your own, and with way more powerful practices to get yourself regulated, because they’re personalised.

So you discover that you can set boundaries that help everyone, and not from a place of “oh, I should, but I cannot let them suffer”, but from a sense of inner power and deep alignment: Like you set them because you develop a real sense of how it supports yourself AND them.

Before we part: I definitely recommend you download my free “no guide” for some more practice and insight into what is hard about saying “no” – especially when you feel other people’s suffering so deeply. And/or reach out for a free 30min conversation to find out what the best next support steps could be for you.

p.s. read about all the other types including the “I’m all of them but none really” HERE