Which Sex Position Is Best For Your Post-Election Emotional State?
Put yourself in the right position to get past this painfully long week.
What's your typical emotional state?
You won't ever see me cry.
I may be tough, but I have feelings, too.
If I'm anything higher than a 3 on the feelings scale, I'm balling.
Most would say I'm completely batshit crazy.
Did you have a good start to the week?
It was just like any other Monday.
Yeah! It went surprisingly well, good vibes all around.
I took a personal day — just wasn't feeling it.
I was drinking before 5 pm. Does that answer your question?
Did you watch the election?
Yes! Of course.
I followed it online, but not on television.
Briefly, but it became too overwhelming to follow.
No, I don't care about politics.
How much did you drink during it?
Just a beer or two.
More than usual for a weekday.
Shots for days.
I tapped an entire keg myself.
What was your reaction to the results?
I cried myself to sleep.
Canada, here I come!
I was too drunk by its conclusion to remember.
I demand a recount.
Who were you with that night?
My friends and I made an event out of it.
Random strangers at a local bar.
I was snuggled up with my SO.
I wanted to be alone.
What's your perspective on the country now?
We have to make the best of what's been decided.
I refuse to listen to a human Dorito.
#IMSTILLWITHHER
I already bought my plane ticket outta here.
How do you plan to distract yourself?
Attend a political rally near my apartment.
Aggressively drink with some friends all weekend.
Netflix and chill with bae as an excuse to never leave bed.
Take a long weekend somewhere peaceful and quiet.
Generic Missionary
You really, really wanna get it in, but let's face it: It's been a rough week.
Bae's undeniable charm may have you eager to rip your clothes off, so instead of getting all stressed out for no reason, just let them do all the work.
This may be a really simple route to take, but it's most certainly effective.
Bae's undeniable charm may have you eager to rip your clothes off, so instead of getting all stressed out for no reason, just let them do all the work.
This may be a really simple route to take, but it's most certainly effective.
All-Out Doggy Style
You're not looking for candles and some sappy John Legend playing in the background.
You're looking to fuck right now, and the best way to achieve that goal is with some time spent doing it doggy style.
You really can't go wrong with America's classic, and probably most impersonal, position ever.
Get on all fours, take action and prove you're so much more than basic vanilla.
You're looking to fuck right now, and the best way to achieve that goal is with some time spent doing it doggy style.
You really can't go wrong with America's classic, and probably most impersonal, position ever.
Get on all fours, take action and prove you're so much more than basic vanilla.
Ride 'Em, Cowgirl
What says "I'm a goddamn nasty woman" better than taking complete control in the bedroom?
If you're eager to show off your dominance, climb aboard and don't stop 'till you've gotten to where you need to go.
Any editing to the traditional cowgirl position is welcome to benefit you, plus, your partner gets to sprawl out.
That's basically a win-win for everyone.
If you're eager to show off your dominance, climb aboard and don't stop 'till you've gotten to where you need to go.
Any editing to the traditional cowgirl position is welcome to benefit you, plus, your partner gets to sprawl out.
That's basically a win-win for everyone.
Lazy Spooning
Donald Trump just became our President-elect.
The entire concept of climate change is about to be debunked, and any rights we had are dissipating, slowly but surely.
We all need comfort, and we all need a good cry. So if some somber, low-key sex is what will get you through the night, there's no judgment here whatsoever.
Go ahead, let it on out.
The entire concept of climate change is about to be debunked, and any rights we had are dissipating, slowly but surely.
We all need comfort, and we all need a good cry. So if some somber, low-key sex is what will get you through the night, there's no judgment here whatsoever.
Go ahead, let it on out.
On Your Feet
If you've spent a lot of time sitting with your head in your hands, chances are you're itching for a little mobility.
Get some airtime after being stuck stationary and leave your mark in just about every place — except for the bed.
A difference in height probably works best for this position, but any excuse to get your ass grabbed while being hoisted towards the sky is one you shouldn't argue with.
Get some airtime after being stuck stationary and leave your mark in just about every place — except for the bed.
A difference in height probably works best for this position, but any excuse to get your ass grabbed while being hoisted towards the sky is one you shouldn't argue with.
Kinky AF
You used your voice in every way possible, and your rebellious streak has carried over into the bedroom.
Your "No fucks given" attitude can work well in this situation, allowing you to up the sexual ecstasy by being more adventurous with toys, role-playing or positions you were always too timid to test out.
There's nothing like a well-thought-out fantasy.
Your "No fucks given" attitude can work well in this situation, allowing you to up the sexual ecstasy by being more adventurous with toys, role-playing or positions you were always too timid to test out.
There's nothing like a well-thought-out fantasy.
Wet And Wild
Untimely wind chills and the harsh new realities of our nation have cast an unshakeable cold over you. Up your body temp with some extra steamy shower sex.
Odds are, things are going to be a tight squeeze, so take advantage of the close quarters and extra ounces of intimacy.
You might notice things you never did before while you're up close and personal.
Odds are, things are going to be a tight squeeze, so take advantage of the close quarters and extra ounces of intimacy.
You might notice things you never did before while you're up close and personal.