Is Your Bestie Really the Best?
Jealousy and arguments aren't unique to romantic relationships; rather, they're all too prevalent in friendships as well. If you’ve ever had a friend that’s either overly possessive of you or just plain rude, then you’ll know exactly what we mean. Here are some signs that your bestie might not really be the best.
It’s your birthday, but you’re not expecting much. You’ve scoured eBay, AliExpress and just about every other corner of the web for a pink pair of Rihanna’s new Puma slippers. Your friend Jessica leaves a gift bag in your locker, and lo and behold—it’s them! As soon as you can find her, you thank her over and over again. When you go to tell your best friend about Jessica's gift, how does she react?
She’s smiling from ear to ear and joking around how glad she is y'all wear the same shoe size.
She’s super glad you got what you’ve been wanting.
She’s sad she didn’t think to get them for you first.
She’s seems pretty quiet, but you don’t really notice.
You’ve got an O-Chem test tomorrow and can’t keep your mind from wandering. You’ve been scrolling through Instagram and you’ve already wasted twenty minutes. You decide this is the last straw and turn your phone over in an effort to prevent any future distractions. Tomorrow, you see your friend at school after your test is finally over. What does she say?
Hey, how was your test?
All you do is study. I never see you anymore.
Hi, pal! Where have you been?
She excitedly screeches your name at 140 decibels. Nobody can burst the sound barrier like your best friend.
You’ve been waiting a long time for this moment. You are finally at the point in your college career where you have time to take that poetry class. You can’t wait to tell your best friend about your semester’s schedule. After you finish telling her all the good news, what does she say?
Oh, that’s nice.
That sounds awesome.
I just know you’re the next Maya Angelou in the making.
I didn't even know you were any good at poetry!
It’s your senior year and you and your best friend are standing at the threshold of the rest of your lives. You’ve decided to take the plunge and you’re applying to the best graduate school in your area. They’re pretty selective, but you believe in yourself. How does your best friend react?
That's cool, I guess.
If that school is as smart as people say, they’re sure to let you in.
I’m not sure that’s a good idea. That school’s acceptance rate might as well be zero.
Do you need someone to proofread your essay?
YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS ONE OF A KIND!
You and your friend are in a healthy, loving and compassionate friendship. Hold on to this one forever! Comments like "I just know you're the next Maya Angelou in the making" are the kinds of things you expect to hear from a best friend. Best friends are always excited and supportive. They're the first to notice when you're down and they are constantly encouraging you to push yourself. Not only that, but they exude an abundance of understanding. So, congratulations! You've got a keeper.
YOU HAVE AN OKAY FRIEND.
"Okay" friends are nice enough to you, but they're not quite best friend material. She's probably fun to hang out with, but she isn't spending a large chunk of her time putting your friendship first. When you go to her about something you're excited about, she doesn't seem to share the same excitement or she seems like she doesn't care. Or, sometimes okay friends remember things about you, but don't care enough to act on them. Those shoes you wanted? She probably remembered when shopping for your birthday, but felt like it wasn't necessary to splurge on you. You don't necessarily have to ditch her, but perhaps it's time to stop putting so much effort into this friendship. No worries, your bestie will come along!
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY THINK ABOUT GETTING A NEW FRIEND.
Bad friends are often passive aggressive, dismissive, possessive or discouraging. These friends are often too concerned with having you all to themselves. Your other friends feels like outsiders to her and are encroaching on her territory. On top of that, she just isn’t happy for you when she should be. She's also discouraging when you want to try new things – probably because she doesn't want things to change. Unfortunately, your friend has a few things to sort out before she can be a good friend to you. If there’s ever been a better time to be like Beyonce, it’s now. Go ahead and get your freedom, ‘cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.