Are You Helping or Harming? A Quick Check-in For Families

Supporting a loved one with substance use disorder (SUD) is challenging, and it’s not always clear whether your actions are truly helping. This short quiz, based on expert insights, will help you reflect on your approach and offer ideas for next steps tailored to your responses.

When your loved one struggles, how do you typically respond?

I pretty consistently step in to fix the problem and try to remove obstacles for them.

I encourage them to decide on their next steps and ask them about the support they need.

I let them know I care and that I’m here when they’re ready to take action.

How do you handle conversations about their substance use?

I avoid the topic altogether because I don’t want to push them away.

I express concern using nonjudgmental language and focus on how their actions impact them and others.

I try to convince them they have a problem, sometimes using guilt or consequences to get through.

What’s your approach to boundaries?

I set clear boundaries that protect my well-being while keeping communication open.

I struggle to set boundaries because I don’t want them to feel abandoned or start conflict.

I keep my distance and focus on protecting myself.

When they return to use, how do you react?

I feel devastated and assume everything we worked toward was for nothing.

I know recovery is a tough journey and use this as an opportunity to learn about what’s come up.

I try not to react, but I pull back emotionally and disengage.

What role do you see for yourself in their recovery?

I feel helpless and unsure if anything I do makes a difference.

I believe it’s my job to keep them accountable and on track.

I know I can support them, but I also recognize that recovery is their journey.

Talk to a Family Recovery Specialist

It sounds like you’re carrying a lot on your shoulders, and that’s understandable. The good news is that you don’t have to do this alone. A Family Recovery Specialist can help you find the balance between offering support and maintaining your own well-being.

Next Step: Reach out to a Family Recovery Specialist today to discuss your situation and get personalized guidance.

Take the Next Step With Your Loved One

You’re learning how to show up in the best way possible for your loved one. The way you communicate, respond, and set boundaries can make a real impact. Small shifts in how you approach conversations and support can make it easier for your loved one to move toward healing.

Next Step: Use our resource What Helps vs. What Hurts to learn more tips for supporting your loved one.

This simple, research-backed guide will help you recognize common responses that may unintentionally cause harm—and give you practical alternatives that create safety, trust, and real connection.

Learn More About What Helps (and What Doesn't)

You're on this path, and it's okay if it doesn’t always feel clear or linear. What matters is that you keep going. Recovery is about progress, not perfection—there is no one ‘right’ way, and setbacks don’t mean you aren’t growing.

To help you navigate this process, we created The Path Is Non-Linear: A Tool for Understanding Recovery—a practical resource that breaks down what to expect, how to reframe challenges, and how to keep moving forward.