Can you blend in at your muggle friend’s super bowl party?
Oh gee! Your muggle friend invited you to a Super Bowl Party this weekend, but you don't know the first thing about football. Before you go make a fool of yourself, practice with this quiz curated by the R&D (s)experts at FastBreak News.
Are you bringing anything to the big game?
Mayhaps a hearty brew of pumpkin juice
A bludger (never leave the house unprotected)
Taco Bell hot sauce packets
Just my wonderful personality!
What are you wearing?
Quidditch jersey, stride of pride!
Robes
Full blown tiger regalia
All black. It’s been two years since we lost Mr. Peanut and everybody’s moved on, but not you. Never.
Who are you rooting for?
Team with the cutest mascot!
Gryffindor?
Whoever everybody else is rooting for
Who cares, they’re all off-broom anyways
Which commercial is your favorite?
The one where the puppies drink Budweiser (for the troops)
All the ones that mention Harambe (I'm setting the over/under at too many)
The one with the green M&M. She’s my ride or die.
I like the one where my favorite celebrity humanizes a corporation. Gee you’re right, Amazon IS silly and relatable!
Your friend opens the door, what should you say?
Break out into a stirring rendition of “Double, Double, Toil and Trouble”
Nothing. Conceal, don’t feel. Make one wrong move and everyone will know.
Throw your bludger at them. You need to establish dominance early if you want to survive the night.
“Hällõ sö glåad to bē héer at da föötball párty” (Ew what was that? Are you doing voices now?)
Where do you choose to sit?
In the corner, looking at the rest of the guests. They can’t sneak up on you if you’re in the corner.
Find the biggest, baddest guest at the party and take a seat right on their lap
Right in front of the TV. Best seat in the house!
The armrest of the couch. You’re cool B)
A big play happens and everybody starts cheering, what do you do?
Rip off your shirt and belly slide across the floor
Cheer too! “Football is Life!!”
Jolt awake, are the commercials back on yet?
Grab the nearest drink and spike it on the ground
Oh no! Somebody spilled their drink on you!
Slowly unsheath your wand. What comes next is unfortunate but necessary.
Screech “Back to Hoops!”
“Mmmmm, master gave Dobby a stain”
Suck the drink right out of your clothes (what are clothes if not straws?)
Bad move, everybody’s staring at you.
Break the tension with your best impression of a troll (bonus points for property damage)
Stand as still as possible, muggles’ vision is based on movement
Fall to your knees screaming, crying, throwing up, begging forgiveness
Lower your head and run full speed out the nearest window
The game’s over, how do you think you did?
Pretty well. Anytime you can get through a night in public without pretending to cast a spell is a success.
Amazing! Pretending to be normal is easy!
Poorly. Apparently throwing a dodgeball at somebody’s face is a “party foul”.
Alright.
No, you didn’t blend in
Ummmm do you think you’re an actual wizard? Everyone laughed when you asked where you could park your broom, but then you took a frog out of your pocket and nobody knows if its a joke anymore. You did get invited to perform at a child’s birthday party though, so good for you.
Blend in? Not quite.
It’s hard to put a finger on what gave you away as a quidditch obsessed nerd. It might’ve been when you spent the halftime show writing up plays on the refrigerator or it might’ve been the fact that you spent the whole night recruiting people to come “play a real sport”. Anyhow you certainly made an impression.
You fit right in!
People think you’re normal. Fine. You think that makes you better than us? It doesn’t. So what if you can interact with people that don’t play quidditch without making a fool of yourself. We could too if we really wanted to!
No, you did not blend in.
You may just be weird. Not a lot we can do about that.