QUIZ: How Much of a Marites Are You?
A personality suddenly posts a controversial piece on “breaking their silence.” What’s the first thing you do?
When celebrities and personalities post “patama” about each other, what’s your next move?
How much time do you spend digging through chismis online?
A showbiz news portal dropped a scandalous blind item that immediately went viral and had everyone guessing. You:
You see a familiar celebrity pair walking the streets of Baguio or HHWW together at a mall. You:
You realize that it’s been a while since you’ve seen your neighbor’s daughter. Before that, you saw her walking the streets with a guy. You:
You suspect a couple broke up since you haven’t seen their cheesy, #RelationshipGoals selfies in a while. What do you do?
BREAKING: Netizens find “solid proof” that Celebrity G cheated on Celebrity B with Celebrity J. What’s your caption when you share this juicy news on social media?
You caught your friend’s partner cozying up with someone else at a cafe. What’s your next course of action?
Your reaction to a famous personality you like being involved in a scandal:
Your Facebook friend shared a post subtly shading someone who never paid them back from the money they borrowed. You:
And finally, once the latest juicy chismis breaks, where do you go to find out more of the news?
Special Grade Marites
Congratulations, you’re a Special Grade Marites a.k.a. the Chismosis Maritenesis’ final form. (You should be scared.)
Instead of just reading about the piping hot tea, you take the extra step of leaving comments on social media. You go to the accounts of those involved and you turn on your notifications so nothing will be missed. You’re also a keyboard warrior who loves to share your (unsolicited) opinions about the latest drama. As a Special Grade Keyboard Warrior Marites (dangerous combo), everyone comes to you for chika whenever a huge controversy explodes. You, an all-knowing being, were just born to eat chismis for breakfast.
Once again, you should be scared.
Semi-Grade Marites
Congratulations, you’re a Semi-Grade Marites — second to the highest evolution of the Chismosis Maritenesis.
You don’t look for the tea, the tea comes to you. Semi-Grade Mariteses often start group chat messages with “Nakita mo ba yung post ni…?” or “Huy beh may chika ako!” if you’re face to face. You’re even so bold as to directly tag your friends under the scandalous post. To your credit, you love a good chismis but you chismis responsibly. Sometimes you actually analyze the situation because what are these blown-up dramas if not life lessons from other people’s mistakes?
Premium Marites
Congratulations, you’re a Premium Marites!
It’s the most basic from, an upgrade from the Budding Marites but lower than the Special Grade and Semi-Grade Mariteses. You like to know the tea for the sake of being informed. (Also because it’s everyone’s topic on your timeline.) And if a particular tea is too good, you mostly just talk about it in the confines of a group chat.
Budding Marites
Congratulations, you’re only a Budding Marites.
Right now, you’re content to know the tea but you also have the willpower to ignore it. Thanks to your friends, you get updates on this week’s news of Who Cheated on Whom. But inside of you is a Marites waiting to be freed from her cage of modesty. One day, the right chismis will unlock your inner Marites but for now you embody the quote “Ignorance is bliss.”
