What Type of Lockdown Couple Were You?

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Now that lockdowns are coming to an end in most parts of the United States, we can begin to reflect back on this past year and wonder... what the hell happened? Specifically, what happened to your relationship with your man during this traumatic time? I think we all became one of a few types of pandemic couples. Find out which one you were!

How much toilet paper did you buy when this thing started?

I definitely panic bought a little too much

I still haven't exhausted my cache

Normal amount

I don't buy my own toilet paper

Which new kink did you and your man explore during quarantine?

Laying in bed for days on end doing nothing but fuck and watch TV

We got into some wild, kinky freak shit

Well.. we would fight and argue and then have awesome makeup sex

Sex roughly six feet apart on the beach

What was your pandemic cuisine like?

We were eating pre-portioned rations like in the military

Delivery... so much delivery...

We took turns cooking

Fish tacos and fruity cocktails

What was your primary quarantine recreation activity?

Netflix

Sex

Games

Tanning

What was the biggest struggle in your relationship this past year?

Him cheating on me with the pool boy

Restocking lube supply

Petty bullshit from smothering each other all year

Not being able to introduce more men into our bubble

How insane did you go this past year?

A little insane

Very insane

I think we both went insane

Gotta be honest I was fine

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Fallout Shelter Lovers

You spent 2020 locked inside your house, which began to feel more like a bunker. But you and your man found plenty of ways to kill time.

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Crazy In Love

Seems like everyone went a little bit insane this past year. You and your man are no exception. Your weird new hobbies may not last, but the unhinged disassociation probably will. At least you went insane together--you're probably closer for it.

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Competing Gaslighters

Trapped inside, you and your man developed terminal cases of cabin fever and did your best to authentically recreate Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?. Of course, your quibbles were resolved once the brunch places opened back up.

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Snowbirds

This year was a struggle for many people, but honestly you don't have much to complain about. You saw this thing comping and hunkered down in a tropical paradise. The pandemic didn't stop you from drinking any margaritas.

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